Keith and I made a tough decision this week. After much criteria had been unfortunately met by Keith such as barely being able to walk, more difficulty eating certain foods resulting in dangerous coughing and more, and with the help of the Palliative or Partners nurse we said yes to Hospice. They will soon set up a meeting to admit him into the program and explain more about its services. They will come to our home and will abide lovingly to Keith's wishes. They don't hover. They should offer some support for both he and I. I will keep you informed as we learn and live more of Hospice. The most important thing we would want you to know is that Hospice isn't a death sentence. In fact, some people even "graduate" out of Hospice.
I have been thinking a lot about "respite" care a lot. Many of you don't know what it is. I am learning that there are a few types of respite. For me, let's call it a "relief" for the caregiver. It's like when I ran track and handed off the baton to the next girl on our team with such relief that I was done. Ok, so I only anchored the relays throughout high school and college. But when I went to the Nat'l team a few times, I was among such wonderful and faster girls that I got to experience "the handing off of the baton," so I know what it feels like.
Anyway, I am asking to hand off the baton to you, our friends. Most of us do not like asking for help. We see it as weak or whatever, myself included. It was only lately I realized this was wrong. And what led me to think this is understanding that Keith "has" to ask for everything. So if he sees me feel bad about asking other friends for help, what might that mean to him. I'm not sure he is thinking about that at all because he is just trying to take the next step, literally, each hour. Plus he's not too into worrying about that kind of stuff as most of you know =)
So thanks for listening. You may not realize how much knowing you are there and here helps. Once I told you guys we needed help, you did it! Now to organize it and you've even offered to do that. For that and much more, Keith and I say thanks. We love you =)
Hello You Two,
ReplyDeleteI was proud of you for being able to reach out and except help - we all think that we have the ability to take care of the loved ones day in and out.
The wonderful thing about hospice is that they come on a scheduled visit and will send in a loving companion or helper that helps releave the caregiver. Its amazing what a few free hours for the caregiver can bring- a relaxed and beautiful smile shining for him.
From experience they are angels that help so one can make the patient and the caregiver have a loving and wonderful time together.
It also so wonderful because they give you such wonderful attention - one call you have an answer or they send a nurse. They are so kind and concerned and gentle - from massages to wonderful companions that have the same interests to chat with weekly.
I know I am going on and on, the experience was the same with both of my love ones, as I know it will be with you too.
Sending much love and hugs,
Linda
Pam and family, I know how difficult this decision is. And I also know how amazing hospice is so rest assured that you are doing the right thing. Also, respite care is absolutely a blessing. Take advantage of it as you are able to. I'm here for you if you need to talk. Hugs and prayers, Angie Wilson
ReplyDeleteI usually become so moved by your posts that I don't know how to express myself and often don't comment. But today I knew that you had to know I am praying and cheering and rooting for you. I am right there with you, understanding your challenges, celebrating your blessings and supporting your tough decisions. This week I had to make a change in treating Bob by calling the ambulance for transport to the Urgent Care. He was suffering due to the heat (even in air conditioning)I tried to manage the return trip home on my own. Never again, when he is weak I'll call for transport. It took us 2 hrs to get up the stairs. He is quite recovered now but every day we have to make a change and sometimes they are big steps, but it's the only way to have the best life possible for as long as possible, waiting too long will rob us of those precious moments that can be experienced when we have the right tools and help. Hugs Susan P.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl :). We are here for you. Send out your wish list. It is nice to know what we can do for you. The picture you sent of Keith still makes me smile :). Look at what the man is facing and all he wants is chocolate chip cookies. Freezer meals coming your way......♥
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you!
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