12 to 14 hrs a day

How do we wrap our minds around Keith basically sitting in a chair for 12 to 14 hrs a day with getting up once every hour? He is one tough guy because he does it day after day.

I'll tell you it is the biggest mental challenge we have had so far. Movement has always been so much a part of our lives and now this. I particularly struggle with it. I think more than Keith but then I am more selfish than he is. Were not for our faith in the Lord, we couldn't  make it through this MSA struggle. It saps Keith of strength both physically and mentally.

BUT, and there is always a but. God has given us the Holy Spirit who acts on our behalf. Good thing because we are tired. We pray for and have faith that we will keep getting the strength we need to continue.

 As I talk to you I  hear how some of you are also dealing with difficult times. Know that you have encouraged us as we watch how you have dealt with them. Thank you for reminding us about Job's story in the Bible.  How others told him to curse God. He did not and in the end was blessed. His life was restored twofold and he had more in his latter years and lived a long life.  Not without a lot of pain and suffering first. That's the part we don't want to go through and as we do I pray that we may remain strong like Job. But come on, Job, really?  How many of us are a Job? Comparing us to Job just seems too lofty.

On a lighter note, I asked again for meals from our church family and friends during Jan and Feb. It's not so much the food we are missing (well sort of) as much as the company when you guys bring  meals to us. It is a distraction from our predictable day.

  MSA is wearing us down but God is bigger than MSA!

More fun!!!!!!!

33years ago, I married the best man ever. No I mean the greatest guy ever, not his best man =)

Yes, we are feeling happy and loved as we go into this holiday weekend. I know gifts shouldn't be the only things that make you happy but I must admit, they definitely add to the joy in our lives. I'm just being real and grateful. I think it is the caring that shows when we receive them. Thank you from us.

Ok, ok, I will stop trying to justify and just accept and have some fun. It has been so heavy around here that we can change that now. In fact, Keith and I are going to try to see a movie, the first time in about 2 years. Wish us luck. I've been informed by Keith that he would like his own bag of popcorn. The guy asks for nothing, so of course he WILL get his own bag =) He is so non-materialistic he doesn't even know what popcorn at theaters cost. If he did, he wouldn't get it. I'm not going to tell him!

Have a wonderful weekend. I know we will. =)

Fun times

We couldn't help smile as we enjoyed the 30 or so church family friends who came over Sunday afternoon to sing Christmas carols and sang very well they did. We were impressed. Keith was able to stand at the door for the whole serenade. He is getting stronger.  We felt loved and cared for. On top of that, we received some excellent goodies. You know how Keith (ok I have a sweet tooth also) loves his goodies! Thank you all.

I mentioned Keith getting stronger. I must admit I thought he would only deteriorate after he got sick. One of the nurses said to me yesterday  he should do a certain procedure because his condition is deteriorating. (it's private, though Keith says he has no secrets since he has been to the hospital.) All I can say is I hope she is wrong. As a matter of fact, I hope I am wrong. All the literature and those on the MSA website give proof that MSA is in fact a degenerative disease with no cure.  Maybe we forgot to tell Keith or maybe he is choosing to be the only one I know not following its (MSA) progression. Whatever the reason, we rejoice at his renewed strength!

Now about some of the changes coming up for Keith and I and our family. We will be moving in a few months to South Everett, WA. My sister and her husband have graciously and generously invited us to move to their home. They love us. They  know we do and will continue to need help and support, more than we can ask of all of you, though I feel you would and will continue to do all you can.

I will share more later. Now is not the time to say goodbye, so I will only say, "Goodnight."

small miracles

 All I can do is report what I see and what we are living as I have done from the start of my blog. So here goes. The other day I look over because I hear Keith say, "I can walk." There he was taking a few steps without the walker! The bad part was he was putting dishes away at the time (oh yeah, he also can put the dishes away again. And like I said he is valuable whether or not he puts dishes away but it is kind of a marker as to his recovery) So anyway, there he was walking his two steps while holding two breakable glasses. Needless to say I was both happy and worried. I said next time can you try it without something breakable in your hands =) He hadn't done it since that one time or so I thought until yesterday when he told me he did walk a couple of steps in the kitchen when I was gone. That guy is doing all he can.  He just now did 5 minutes on the recumbent bike!

I'm learning that miracles can take place in small ways, often not instantly. If the Lord does not want to heal Keith all at once then so be it. After all he loves him the most and knows the reason for him having MSA and what its results will be. We trust in our heavenly father.

On a lighter note, Keith is loving the treats. His eyes light up for those cakes, donuts, cookies, pies and cinnamon rolls. I will tell you if there are too many or if he gains too much weight.

We are reading the verses you have sent on healing.

Thanks all of you. We are feeling very encouraged!

Hospice

I'm sorry I can't make our story a pretty and fluffy one; at least not today. Tomorrow is another day.  Remember, you have the right to not read the blogs but I have to and need to be real, right or wrong to some of you. And to my Christian friends, I don't believe I am a "bad Christian" because I am not always singing the Lord's praises. The ONE who made me knows me and understands my cries and even encourages me to do so.

Thanksgiving was nice and try as I might to put the words "Hospice Referral," out of my head, it wasn't happening. True at this time, it is just a chance for us to meet the hospice team and have them get to know us. Then when the time comes, we will be ready and won't have to make sudden, non thought-out decisions. A good plan but I would wager that none of you are being "referred" to hospice.

So Keith and I go on. Day by day, even hour by hour. Surprisingly, I was just mentioning at dinner that you would think the days would go so slow, but they don't. Oh well, what is not a surprise is that a lot of you are staying away. I know you don't know what to do or say, but please just call me and I promise I will help you out. I'm not that hard to talk to. I will probably say everything is ok unless I truly feel you want to hear the truth. I'm not being dramatic (well I sort of am), I just wish I could make it easier for you. I know it is difficult because I have been in your shoes and did far less than you all have done for us.

Ok, I will help you out. Remember I said Keith likes plain cake donuts or cinnamon rolls? He loves chocolate chip cookies and most all cookies. He likes New York super chunk ice cream or dove bars.

Ooops, I forgot, they just told Keith he was borderline anemic, so if anyone wants to bring him a hamburger, milkshake and fries, he would love that. =)

I love you all. There's more news to tell but not now.  Some not so good, some involving changes, and some more about Keith's health.

Fred says,..................................

My cousin Fred wanted me to tell all of you how much better Keith is doing so here goes.

Keith is doing so much better than about 3 weeks ago when Fred saw him last. He still uses his walker but I often let him walk without holding onto him. Shhhhhhhh, don't tell PT. =)

Thank you Fred for coming over and visiting Keith so I could do my Thanksgiving Dinner shopping. I tried to get Keith to go for pizza but he wanted a more traditional meal. We will only have about 5 of us and I am getting a lot of help.

So Fred, there it is. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

More sleepless nights

I probably shouldn't even write this blog. Three sleepless nights and a trip to the emergency doesn't generally lead to accurate reporting but I will try.

Keith had a good day for the most part Saturday. But by 8:30pm he said we have to go to the Dr. which of course meant emergency. He's ok.  Five hours later he was sent home dx with a urinary tract infection as well as a blocked catheter. Boy is he tough. I didn't even know he was in pain until the emergency nurse asked him his pain level on a scale of 1-10 and he said "7". Poor guy.  Believe me, he is so happy today and feels sooooo much better.

On a happy note, Clint passed his National Board Certification , meaning he is now a National Board Certified Teacher. We always knew he was a good teacher! He worked hard for it and of course it was suppose to add to his pay scale, but the higher ups are ruling that they may not get the money.

So go the doings at the Johnson household. We are trying hard to live day by day and even minute by minute, enjoying the time with our family and friends.

An invite

 Good Saturday morning. As I write, I look out my window and see a glorious sunrise. A sunrise like this  can be hard to see in the Northwest at the time of year. =)  It is a beautiful reminder of God's beauty,  especially  after the storm we had last night.

Keith is getting stronger daily and working so hard at Speech, Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy. Good to see him timing everything. It reminds me of the "coach" part of him. He is even getting a little more demanding. A fight he needs to stay alive. He is still walking with assistance but even that may end soon.

Here is what the title is about.......................................I have invited our church family to take a break from bringing us food as we  don't want to be hoarders or buy a new freezer.  Instead, like I told them, and I want to invite you bloggers as well, to email, text, write a letter, or call with 5 verses about healing. But, like I told them, only 5 because I want the ones the Holy Spirit tells them to send us and not just pages and pages of verses. These verses will be the center of Keith and my devotions. Thank you.

 WE ARE LOOKING AND EXPECTING AND PRAYING AND ASKING FOR A MIRACLE!

LET'S SHOW THE WORLD WHAT A GREAT AND MIGHTY GOD WE HAVE

Some details,

Pam and Keith Johnson
504 Hemlock Ave
Granite Falls, WA 98252

Pam's cell, the best one to use unless text-ting Keith.........................425-870-5867

Keith's cell..........................360-691-5731. He is a good text-er and often it is a great way for you to communicate with him. He enjoys it.

Also, don't hesitate to come and see him. I know from what I've written he seems in such bad shape. I will say, however,  that  he was at the time, in very bad shape!  You will feel better if you come and see him for yourself.  Generally about a half hour is a good amount of time. (No, I don't mean you family, although maybe some of you =)

Have a great Saturday, I know I will. =)

You guys are GOOD cooks

Did I ever tell you that I am not the greatest cook. Oh I did homemade for the kids and Keith and I. I bought very little cardboard boxed meals, and we rarely went to fast food because we never lived near one. It's just that I would rather do most anything than cook. So that is why I may appear healthy to some. I'm out walking, doing errands, trying to jog (more like a trot). I like to get outside at least once a day for a half hour and out of my house 2 to 3 times a day. Actually I cook pretty good stuff when I do.  Why right now as I type, there is an egg dish cooking which should be done in 10 mins if I don't burn it. =)  It's just that I am one who really appreciates other's cooking. I used to go to Keith's moms any chance I could because she did and still does cook so well. Thanks Renee. =)

Enough about cooking. Seriously, I was thinking that here is Keith. The 57 year old Keith we all  know and love, trapped in an 86 year old body and not a 86 body that can still take care of themselves.

I know this because a hospice nurse talked to me for ten minutes yesterday and asked me some specific questions like, Can your husband get dressed by himself? Can he bathe himself and other private necessities?  Can he get his own food? Can he walk unassisted? Can he transfer by himself? Can he turn in bed by himself?  As you can guess, the answer was "no" to all of them. She said you need help before you get sick from being a 24/7 hour  caregiver.

I don't say this to get more help. How much more help can you give?  You all have done wonderful.  We are so blessed to have such family and friends. I am just venting and letting you know that we may be at a new stage in the MSA and have to make some unique decisions.

Don't worry, I'm not putting Keith anywhere and we are hoping that his continued PT,OT,SP will continue to help bring him to his pre hospital stage,  though I often feel like just letting the guy rest. =(

Better go get the eggs.

Getting stronger!

What a great day we are having because Keith is so much stronger than a few days ago. Thank you for the prayers. He is even doing some exercises. Not on the elliptical yet!

Also we received so many funny cards I can't even count them all. How fun for us.

Just wanted to let you know the good news. =)

Oh, by the way, several of you volunteered to take Keith to an appt but I forgot who.  At the time we had none to go to. Now, he is heavily scheduled this November for PT, OT and Speech at Providence on Pacific Ave, Everett for out patient therapy.

Call me or tx if you can help with one or two. If we spread them out it won't be overwhelming for myself or one person.

Keith's even up for a game of Farkel =)

Moving SLOW

Moving slow is hard for "ex athletes." Everything Keith does is such a struggle. He is doing it with determination but it is getting the better of him. I'm trying to have strength for both of us but who am I kidding? I only get strength from the Lord. We are having some good talks. Be careful if you ask for more time to talk to the Lord, you may just get it! =) Selfishly, the Lord, via the Holy Spirit, is the most comforting, not to mention most clear one to talk to. Satan on the other hand is trying hard to attack any area of my life that I have not protected with God's word. Keep praying against him please, though he doesn't even deserve mention. Our God is greater that any evil!

What I wanted to say was I am so grateful that I have not had to cook for over 2 weeks because of all of your generosity.

I'm hearing Christmas music =)

Keith comes home

If all goes according to plans, I should be picking Keith up to bring him HOME in a few hours. He can't wait to come home. Thus begins a new chapter in the ongoing MSA journey.

I thank  all of you. You ADD so much to our lives.

Information

Just wanted to let everyone know that Keith is now at Providence on Pacific. He was moved from critical care to inpatient PT rehab at the other campus on Pacific Ave. I says this because even some family members couldn't find him. And also, his real name is "Dennis Keith Johnson." Didn't know that huh? It will make it easier if you ask for him. =)

He is doing much better and getting stronger. Thank you all for the encouragement. We want him out Wed. but they are predicting Friday. He doesn't really like it there.

Don't hesitate to ask me, Clint, Kristi or Kristen Curry about us. But you can call or tx me.  You will know I am done texting or talking when I end with my smiley face.

=)

Sure, not Strong

All right all of you who are praying for me. The Holy Spirit is revealing some good stuff to me. I will share more later but want all of you to know that Keith and I are living like we are expecting a MIRACLE. What form that takes is up to our God.

They drained about 95 milliliters of fluid from Keith's knee and he was able to walk a little. In fact, enough that he will be moved to in house re-hab this morning.

A fighter that guy is through it all!

Thanks so many of you for the cards =), food, help, and so many offers of help. The Lord is good.

Pam

FUNNY

As most of you know, Keith has been in the critical care unit at Providence Hospital since Thursday. No pneumonia but incredibly weak from MSA following a cold. His immune system can't handle a lot. Then yesterday his legs swelled up and his knee hurt so bad. When the doctor saw him he was shortly after taken to ultra sound to rule out blood clots. Thankfully, he had none.  Then  they took x-rays of his knee but I don't know those results.

So it has been pretty serious in our lives lately. But yesterday, when I came to see him we were alone and I went close to hear him because he looked serious, he said, "This is the end." And then I said, "It's not the end until  God says it it!" Then he looked at me and said, "It's the end of the game." We both got a good laugh at that. =)

We can use some comic release. Now I know why my sister who went through Cancer gave us a funny card. In fact, it is the only card we have received. I know cards are expensive and outdated because of our "enlightened electronic times," and I am the first one to love our knew world of communication,  but I have to tell you, it was good to laugh at that card. Thank you Cheri and Stan.

The other problem is that we don't know each other's addresses so here is ours,

Keith and Pam Johnson
504 Hemlock Ave.
Granite Falls, WA 98252

Hate to be so blunt, but I know you want to help and this is one way. Thank you all. We love ya.

Back to bed again. Maybe I will regret what I wrote in the morning. =) Goodnight.

I can't sleep

I've been up since about 1am. I thought I would get a better sleep without Keith but it is turning out not to be true. After almost 33 years of marriage, it feels like a big void. I cleaned the floor, started the dishes and almost vacuumed, but instead,  I thought I'd update all of you on his condition.

 As you know, Keith went to the emergency room at Thursday after catching a cold. What is a simple cold for most of us is not when you have MSA. It laid him out so bad that he was unable to walk. Thankfully, Dr. Burke advised us to call 911 and have him transported to rule out pneumonia and other infections. Of course Keith did not want to go but agreed later that it was a smart decision. Without going into details, basically we are at a point where we have to decide if he should go to in house re-hab or come home. We are leaning toward a week or so in re-hab where they will work to help with gain the strength he had before this episode. The worry is that this may be the downward spiral of MSA and nothing but prayers are going to help and should we put Keith through this.

Then I thought, Hey, wait a minute. Keith is a fighter, a former athlete and coach. He likes to exercise and he already gave an outstanding effort for his first PT session in the hospital. Though it was 5 steps forward and 5 steps back, he was still  coach-able and they were pleased.

I called the hospital a few minutes ago and they said Keith was doing well.

I think I will try to go to sleep now.

An easy way to keep people updated!

Dad is currently in the hospital. He went in yesterday morning and they determined that he has a sinus infection. It made him so weak that he could not walk. We will see if he is able to walk today. Hopefully he will be able to come home today.

 

 

We just set up an easy way for everyone to get updates on Keith. We want to keep everyone updated, but it can get overwhelming.

 

 

We just set up a twitter account which will make it easy!

 

 

You do not need a twitter account. All you have to do is:

 

 

text: follow keithjohnsonmsa

to: 40404



You will then get a message from Twitter letting you know that you are now following keithjohnsonmsa

 

 

Repeat: You do not need a twitter account to get the updates! :)

 

 

That's it! You will then get a text when mom has an update about Keith! If you decide that mom is "tweeting" too much you can simply:

text: unfollow keithjohnsonmsa

to: 40404

You will then stop getting the twitter updates.



Please leave a comment or send an email if you have any questions.



Clint

Scary night and...................?

Keith caught my cold and by 6 pm was unable to walk. We had to use the wheelchair inside.  By bedtime, he didn't have enough strength to get in bed. We finally got him in after about 30 mins. Then he had no strength to get comfortable. We ended up moving him to the recliner in the living room. May have to move it to the bedroom. We were up 3 times during the night.

Gotta go. Thought this morning would be better. He was even walking himself but now he is getting feverish. We have a Dr. appt in a few hours to get his flu shots.

Prayers that he can get to his appt. We have one granddaughter with us. She is a delight and so easy but may have to ask one of you to watch her =) during the appt.

I will let you know how it turns out. Whether this is a new chapter or I am just over reacting. I hope it's the latter.

Aren't you glad one of you weren't the one who gave him the cold? We have a BIG God who loves Keith and we trust him.

I wish I was hearing Christmas music.

Thank YOU, Thank YOU, Thank YOU

We already feel better. We have been given a wheelchair, transfer bench and other medical supplies  we  may need later. Someone brought soup. Some gave money. Some offer prayers. (Love, need and  want them always.)  Others have offered cinnamon rolls and super oatmeal! We are looking forward to those =) Our friends from church put in a floor for us.

Some of these things are big and some are small. All are welcomed and we thank you for them. I just told Keith that these gestures seem to free me up. Last night I was able to watch 4 grandkids and make cookies. It was fun and we need times where we are smiling. Nothing makes you laugh as much as hearing  the grandchild  who says, "Can I pleaseeeeee crack the egg? I know how." saying to the other, "You knew how to crack an egg real good but I put the whole shell in the bowl." Anyway, it was funny to me and that's all that matters. Keith and I want our whole family to be doing  "NORMAL" stuff because it is pretty heavy around here most of the time. Just when I feel times are so heavy, I hear Keith playing Christmas music! Now that is what Keith has done all of our lives. We usually ask him to please wait for Nov. But somehow this year I don't care when he plays it. Yayyyyyy!

Just wanted to let you know, we are having a great day, trying to take it one day, sometimes one hour at a time.

I NEED YOU NOW

When Keith was first dx with MSA  3 years ago and  symptoms exhibiting a year or so before, my church family asked what they could do for us.  Back then, Keith was still working , coaching and rigorously  exercising. Now, he is not. I can hear myself answering 3 years ago , that we didn't need anything but please ask me again. I knew at that time, but hadn't shared, that his disease would most likely  progress in the manner it is now and because of that, we would probably need  a lot of help later.

Later is here. As can be expected, there is good news and bad. Keith's walking is becoming more difficult. So much so that we have been busy ordering a light weight wheelchair, and looking at electric ones so he can have more mobility.  Because of his balance, getting him out places is not pretty but funny at times =). We often laugh so we don't cry. The good news is that he seems to be communicating better.

So I had to let go of my pride and ask more specifically for help because you guys can't read my mind.  And do you know what?  Yes, we were so blessed as several of you called or came to us to offer meals and to spend time with Keith. The church is going to set up a sign up sheet to help in the effort.

Just wanted to update all of you. Thanks for the prayers.

Folding Shirts

I just finished folding Keith's shirts and thinking that he won't be putting them away like he had for almost 33 years of marriage. I'm not complaining, just so thankful for the kind of husband I have. You see, he never thought he shouldn't put his clothes away or pick up his things off the floor or put his shoes and coat away, etc. We never had those fights about who does what and when. I guess we just figured we each do our part and the rest we work together. Seems to have worked for us. If he could clean now, he would be the first to do so. Even now, he puts the dishes away for me. What would take me 5 mins to do takes him quite a bit more, but he trudges through putting them away. Believe me, it is a blessing. I don't mind loading the dishwasher, but unloading, ughhhhh! He even hand dries the ones that came out wet. (what's with that? Shouldn't the dishwasher always get them dry?)

I had a tough Labor Day weekend. For some reason, it has been hardest for me on holidays and Saturdays. What made it hard was that I actually did what so many of you said and called about 5 of you and asked if we could do something. None of you could through no fault of your own. It is just called life and I will be the first one to tell you to enjoy it because you never know what could happen and that the next holiday may not be as predictable as you think. If fact, please continue to share your joys with us. It is easier to listen to them than spending the whole  time talking about our situation. As you can tell, I sometimes need to vent or more politely, "share." I'm ok.  I was able to turn my thinking around by going to the word. As so many of you know, the Lord is always there. =)

Remember that I write this blog for myself, family, friends and future. Keep that in mind as I remind all of us to take a moment to reflect on this 10th anniversary of Sept 11, 2001 or 9/11.

We love you,

Pam and Keith

One Day at a Time

One day at a time. A statement we all agree with but it becomes more interesting when you are put in a position to get to practice it everyday. Unfortunately, Keith and I have. Fortunately, Keith and I have. When we do it, we gain insight each day; something not noticeable, I believe, to us when we routinely go through our day.

Keith got back from MN. I'm surprised he came back since they took such good care of him. Ok, Have I said that I am not much of a cook? I do it but I would rather walk, jog, bike, lift weights, even run than cook. But I do do it, just not as well as my family in MN. Hey, I've always loved going to their homes for a "real" home cooked meal. Thanks all of you. He keeps telling me about the foods Vickie made him such as gluten-free cookies, pancakes, bread, and even pasty, ( a specialty of the area) He mentioned the cookies 4 times! I guess it's time for me to make some cookies. Maybe I will invite Vickie here instead since she just retired. What I am really saying, is thank you Mike and Vicki, Denny and Renee, Clint and Rich and all of the friends and family who love Keith for taking such good care of him. He had fun and the great part is that he is open to maybe going to Hawaii with ME if he gets better. Keith just told me to thank you Mike for renting the handicap equipment.

That brings me to his liver de-tox phase 2. Complicated for me to describe, but our Dr. has a lot of hope that getting those poisons out of his liver will make him begin to have more energy. It is quite a routine that seems to take about an hour to 2 hours to complete. But he's worth it right?

For those of you who have visited, thank you. For those of you who haven't, don't worry about it. Just keep praying and learning about MSA along with us. As I see you in the grocery store, the bank, the church, and other places while I walk around Granite Falls, I am constantly reminded that you care. You tell me you read the blog. You tell me you are praying for us. I have been encouraged and invited to join one group traveling out of the country trip next summer, which I may just do. One of you even offered your time-share in Hawaii. I am humbled by the fact that you did not even hesitate or say you had to talk to Greg, (Clarice) =) Keith and I say you don't find great families like the Drube's everyday! He says, "They're top-notch people." Thank you.

Have a great week-end. Saturdays seem to be rough days for me. I can get sort of sad. But this Sat. I am going to the musical, Les Mes. with a lot of my family and looking forward to it =) It could be a more cheery show, but we love Les Mes and its music.

Could you please sign?

Hello everyone,

As we get Keith ready for his trip to MN I ask for prayers. He gets anxious traveling as do many these days!

I want to use this blog to ask if you would sign the petition that Clint and I have posted on Facebook.

You can also get to the Petition without using facebook. Click Here to Get to the Petition! 

If you can show the governor that MSA exist and is very difficult to live with, I think we can educate more people about its horrors.

Having a good week. Thanks to you guys that came and planted exciting little mini apple trees, and much, much more. To take the effort to buy organic soil, pull weeds and even entertain grand kids at the same time means more than I can say, Lori =)

Kitty and John, thanks for the gluten-free foods. Keith couldn't wait to have spaghetti. He loved it!

And to all of you for coming by or for your good thoughts, we love you.

As for me, I don't know where I am going to be. Probably reading a book or laying in the sun or preferably, both. =)

Doing well

Hello all,

We certainly are feeling your prayers and good wishes. Just wanted to let you know that this is a good few days we have been having. I think I'm noticing some good signs with Keith's communicating improving, but it could be wishful thinking. He has been out on the scooter each day, finally going further. Yesterday, I turned around from getting the mail (which around here is quite far,) and there he was. It was like we could take a walk together except more like a run for me because he was booking to get home. That was funny =)

Like I said before, no need to leave comments on the blog unless you want to or course. I sense you are there reading the blog. Many of you confirm that when you see me in town and I thank you for it. The only thing that gets me down a little is when people tell me they aren't reading it. Just please keep that to yourselves =)

As far as what we need, we believe in prayer and with the bunch of you praying, I know they are heard. So keep on with it.

Practically speaking, however, I am learning more and more about Keith's non-dairy, gluten-free and organic diet and could use some help with food. I know it's hard because I too am trying to think of how I can help my friend and my ideas just seem "lame." What I've learned is that I can't or shouldn't just go in to a gluten-free store to buy most of my food because a lot of it is packaged and contains more sugar than he should have and a lot of other junk.

So how do you help? I don't know except to say just a little bit of organic carrots, bananas, apples, cherries, oranges, kiwi, pineapple or most fruit or vegetables or eggs would be so nice. I can't afford to buy Keith all organic foods yet though I try. Keith can have coconut milk ice cream (or ice dessert that they sell at Haggen) He likes most of the gluten-free cookies.

Also, any entree, breads or dessert is nice because I'm having a hard time feeding grand-kids or guests since I don't have that type of food around as much as I used. I still would like to be able of offer it to them. They shouldn't suffer .=)

And if you can't do any of the above, come by for a visit or game of Farkel. And if you can't do that, keep on, keep on praying.

Thank you so much for all of your love.

Toxic poisons

We talked to our Natural-path Dr. yesterday and she reminded us that the toxins Keith has in his body are coming out of his pores and may results in the symptoms he's been exhibiting.

Here we have been looking for signs of his detox working and it is right in front of us. Because Keith felt so sluggish, tired, malaise d, a little "down", can't walk well and somewhat housebound I was very worried. She was very re-assuring, however, as these symptoms are what she expected. She asked if he was down because of the weather. I told her, "No, just I am!" She said I'm not alone. =) So, the detox continues.

We have a beautiful ramp built by Dave and Clint and painted by Ernie and his buddies. Be aware if Ernie calls, he may just bring you along to our home to work! We thank you all. The ramp is so nice and the grand- kids like running up and down it. The best part is that Keith was able to ride the scooter also up and down (sometimes with those grand-kids following him in such a cute way.)

Off to buy some non-toxic soap for Keith and a special brush for "skin brushing," which he now adds to his routine.

Looking forward,

Unfair to Kristi and family

Since I talk about being as honest as I can, it is about time to clear the air. I'm afraid Kristi and her family took the blame for what should have been the disease, MSA.

When Keith got so sick in Oct. and had to quit his job, there naturally was a desire to blame anything or anyone. Even after studying the affects of MSA, I wasn't aware of what its destruction could and continues to cause for not only the one with it but also all of us around it, especially the family.

I want to apologize to Kristi, Jose and the girls. I love you guys. You are hard working and I brag about you all the time. Guess I better tell you! Dad and I are proud of you and your family.

I know this is a little personal but I started it when I began sharing. Hope all of you will let us continue to be honest about what our family faces living with MSA. I only pray that Clint and Kristi and their families have each other and more to lean on because Mom and Dad at this point are a little distracted. I can only imagine what they are going through. And honestly, most of the time I have to stop my mind from imagining it.

All I can do for now, but still expecting a miracle

With love

YOU

Alright you guys. I now can't officially keep up with all you are doing for us. I find as I sit down and think about the day that I've missed saying thank you to someone. There have been cards, food, visits, fruit, movies, games, time and energy given to us to which we are humbled.

Picked up Keith's wheelchair but like I said, that man can be stubborn; smart and safe, but a little stubborn. He now has 4 pieces of equipment and not using them much. We must admit, however, that using the wheelchair for part of our dr. appt. made life easier. Our foot dr. said Keith's balance is affected by his lack of toe movement and he is not willing to give up on Keith gaining strength and flexibility in that toe. The exercises take a lot of will because getting his brain to make the toe move correctly can take awhile.

My hope is that Keith will not be house bound now and will have a better quality of life feeling comfortable going out.

Off to get some paint for the wheelchair ramp. Love you all.

Loads and loads of love

So many of you came over and offered even more than love; food, beautiful plants, and time. There are too many to name. Some of you don't even want me to say thank you, but you know who you are =) and we do thank you.

Just wanted to let all of you know though things get tough we know you will be here to help us through.

Blessings to you all.

A Bad day followed by LOVE

I sometimes feel that people only want to hear good news from me but I want to be honest. So feel free to stop reading now. It's ok. It's hard to read, I'm sure, because it is hard to live.

Yesterday Keith realized that he is closer than he has ever been to not being able to walk. This realization really shook both he and I . We cried, we prayed, we talked of possibilities and we tried not to be afraid of the future. We know that the Lord loves us and will provide whatever we need. It was soon to become evident.

You see, we had 12 people come by and visit and encourage us. We were trying to be strong on our own, but it was only as soon as we were willing to share our realness, our fears, our sadness, our hurt, our losses, that we were surrounded with this love. Our friends and family came immediately. They were willing to play Farkle with Keith. That means a lot. Like I said, a 20 minute game of Farkle is just about the right amount of time to visit Keith because he gets tired. I finally saw a big smile and heard his laughter. Thanks all of you.

Also, we want to thank Rod and Andy for helping with yard work. Thank you Jim for coming when we needed you.

Keith

I know he's not perfect but he he sure is a good guy. He's not house bound yet but closer than he has ever been in his life and handling it better than most.

I asked him if he is getting bored or wants to go somewhere (of course I knew the answer because we know each other pretty well like I've said before) and he said, "I kind of like it in my house." I knew he meant it and we talked about how I have to get out of the house at least once a day and prefably 3 times, 2 times to go somewhere and once to be outside in the fresh air. Anyway, back to Keith. I said, "Are you bored?" He said , "No." I knew he wasn't because for the first time he has been forced to concentrate on himself. He has always thought of others first and still does, but he must do his exercises to be able to walk and talk and keep that wheelchair as far into the future as possible to be used only when absolutely necessary. He also has an additional list of books he has been wanting to read since he began coaching, not to mention, the movie list.

Just wanted to let you know that we are enjoying our time together. Have a great week.

Thanks for visiting. We had 7 visitors yesterday each keeping the visits under an hour. I think Keith played 5 games of Farkel. =) He was tired but slept well.

Blessings

What a wonderful blessing Keith and I received this week. Mike and Shannon came by and put up a tv stand on the wall. Also fixed the blinds and put in a light bulb. I was working and came home to see it. Keith said they were very fast and Shannon even cooked for Keith. Thank you both.

Also, I want to thank Michael for coming by and leaving us some excellent "goodies."

Andy, it is always fun to share a cup of coffee with you after you have helped in our yard. Even if you can't work because of the rain. =)

Come by and visit. Remember, staying 20 minutes is OK. Like I said before, it is hard for Keith to concentrate after about an hour. He is still exercising and doing his speech. We are so thankful for texting as Keith is able to have many easier conversations with his family and friends that way. We still don't want to let him off the hook from talking however, because he needs to. Also, I want to hear his voice. Even garbled at times, we laugh at what I think I hear him saying. It can take me several times asking, "what?"

I know I said good news would follow and it has but new developments also happen. After testing a sample of Keith's hair, the results came back showing that he is very toxic with heavy metals. I will explain more as we learn more but for now it is like his body is stagnant. No good nutrients can get in the cells and the toxic stuff can't get out leaving him with no energy. He is one of the worst cases seen, but not impossible to treat. So, Keith starts a detox after we can get his body to even accept it.

Add to his heavy metals toxins, he was dx with gluten-intolerance and dairy allergies. Now begin new diets.

Sorry for this news but we do have hope. The Dr. we are working with is excellent and is willing to fight this MSA with us. She says the detox may take up to 2 years. She is challenged by his case and very honest.

Enough for now. Thanks for listening. And yes, I am putting a list together. Right now, I need my broom handle fixed. I was sweeping the grass after I mowed, and the broom went flying off. Makes it impossible to sweep.

Love to all of you,

Pam

A List

Don't want to, don't want to, don't want to. Should, should, should.

Just finished reading from a man who cared for his mom until she died about a year ago from MSA. He has stayed with the MSA support group to offer help when possible. He talked about a few things we should know or do. One of them was to not be afraid to ask for help. It sounds so easy and if I were in most of your shoes, I would say the same thing. Then why do I find it so difficult?

I want people to already know what is needed around here; that is, " the husband stuff." Fixing broken things, weed-eating, repairing the roof, changing light bulbs, carrying heavy items, raking, moving grandkid toys (and sometimes moving grandkids =), mowing (oh wait a minute, I do the mowing and enjoy it), etc.

I know it is not fair for you to have to try and guess my list and no, the things above are not specific, just examples =), but that is the best I can do now.

Still, I will consider making a list of things I need done but it is hard. I don't want to ask.

Just turned around from the computer to see Keith trying out the walker and then the cane. Not a fun sight.

I promise, good news to follow. Just had to get the list situation off my chest.

Love to all,

Pam

Heart

All of you have taught me so much. Especially about heart. I often struggle with what it means to feel so strongly with your heart. So many of you have shown me your heart that I thank you. It has helped. There's more about the heart, but I am still pondering.............................................

I was thinking that I just had to be stronger and simply re-define our marriage. It is what it is, now get on with it. But, while I was so sternly telling myself this, the words "For better, for worse, and in sickness and in health." came to me. There you have it. Marriage is not only the beginning part of our vows, but as Keith and I are finding out, they encompass so much more.

I am ready for this new fight! Bring it on! Of course, nothing can happen without the indwelling Holy Spirit working in me.

Thanks you all for your love and prayers.

Fun things have been happening too. Keith's parents visited for 12 days and were very fun to be with. They were troopers and must have played 100 games of Farkle!

Thank you Nikki for coming yesterday, bringing funny movies, and giving Keith a run for his money in Backgammon. I hear you won 2 out of 4 games. It's better that I do. =)

Ernie, thanks for bringing beautiful plants. Thank you Clint for pressure washing and mowing. We have great kids.

So, until later,

Pam

2 am in the morning

I cry because I have left the bed of a man I have slept with for over 30 years. He doesn't even know I'm gone. That is because of the MSA. His body becomes so heavy I can't get him to move or understand what I am saying most of the time. I had to leave because he was hitting me in the back. MSA can cause him to "act out" what he may be dreaming. Not that he is dreaming he is hitting me, but whatever it is, I am a close target! Too close! I couldn't get him to wake up to explain it to him, so I left and came to write. I know it may make sense to sleep elsewhere, but, " I DON'T WANT TO."

I write, not to evoke sympathy but because I am sad and scared. This disease is robbing the outward emotions from Keith that I so desire. He cares and wants to provide them but can't. I feel so selfish wanting wisdom from him. Wanting problem solving from him. Wanting strength from him. Wanting holding from him.

I can't make it funny anymore.

I'm not sure I should post this because I lack sleep but I know I will. "Why?" I don't know anymore. You all ask how Keith is and he is fighting for his life. The energy it takes to exercise and visit and get through the day is staggering but only those that see it daily would know. Of course, he isn't complaining, but I guess I am aren't I?

Keith just came out and saw me posting but only talked about our dog. That's not normal. Before the disease he would have said, "What's wrong, why are you up?" and we would have talked as long as necessary. It did turn out to be a blessing that our crying dog woke him up. I will tell you why. After he seemed to not care why I was up, I followed him back to the room and confronted him with the situation. (You've got to understand, we've had very few times where we haven't communicated and comforted on another in our marriage so this situation was big.) Anyway, he knew then that something was wrong. We talked and cried (ok, I cried ) He said as only Keith can, "Things are getting serious" and then said, "Don't give up on me." I said I would never give up on him, or on us. He then said some more serious and insightful things to me that I so needed to hear.

Thank you Lord. I think I can sleep now.

Visitors

Just had a great conversation with my sister, Cheri. Of course we're both enjoying the sun even though one of us had to work. =). She deserved a break as she works very hard. Can't wait until we get together again especially since her husband, Stan and she not only offer, but bring food with them and are willing to play Farkle with you know who!

We are excited about Keith's parents coming soon from Minnesota. They should arrive sometime Thursday. If you know anything about the Johnsons, they will be here exactly when they say. It is amazing.

I gotta go. Keith needs the computer so we can watch "Castle" , one of our favorite shows.

Until later,

Oh yea, Keith got an excellent report from his neurologist. Says Keith may outlive him.

Things are good

Sorry about the last downer post but I felt I needed to say it. It helps me.

I can say, however, I did have a wonderful time in California. The weather was about 85 to 95 degrees. At the pool by 8am, took breaks and back to the pool to finish our day. I got plenty of rest and only gained a couple of pounds that are back off already. Sure was some good food there, but it was rather hot so we didn't eat heavy.

I want to thank all of you who called or came and visited Keith. He looked very good when I came home. Well fed too. =)

Pam

It's time

It's time to begin educating about the disease MSA. It's not fun, it's not pretty, but I feel I can't keep what I know to myself because I need and will continue to need your support. If not physically, then in prayers and the hope all of you give Keith and I.

I began by posting a link (I think that's what I did ) on facebook about a couple with living with MSA. Please watch that if possible, difficult as it may be and has been for me.


I watched it about a year ago and only shared it with Keith yesterday. He was sad watching it as am I each time I do. Also if you type in Miracles for MSA on your facebook page you will see other families dealing with MSA. It's a beginning. If you are like me, I have to stay away from the page for the most part though I am constantly drawn to it.

I appreciate any information about MSA you gain.

Now on a lighter note. I told Keith about Clint's suggestion of what to watch that was humorous as was suggested by the wife in the video. So, we turned the channel to what we thought was the old funny sitcom shows. The first thing we heard was a man who had just been told he had cancer and was running through a senario in his mind about dying. We looked at each other and then back to the tv. The next picture we saw was of a woman who had fallen down and couldn't get up. We looked at each other and started laughing. Just what we needed, a commercial that addresses two of probable outcomes of MSA, falling and death. It was ironically funny, but we turned the channel. We are now taking suggestions as what to watch that is funny.

Enough hard stuff for now.

Thanks everyone for being in our lives. We love you. =)

What to say

I've been sort of "numb" these last few weeks. I will tell you at the top, that I am and will be fine. I am actually going to the Calif. soon and will relish feeling those warm ways, as I'm sure all of you would also. I wish I could take you guys with me but sorry, no computer there. I will be "slummin" it around the outskirts of Palm Desert. =) For the past several years, I have asked many of my friends to come with me on the following conditions:

1. They have to be willing to lay in the sun or at least around the pool several
hours a day ( reading for a lot of the time).

2. They have to be willing to go shopping. =)

3. They have to be willing to go out to eat at least once a day and probably once
a day for coffee.


4. They have to put up with me exercising everyday. They should go with me but one
of my friends only made it on one walk one day, so exercising with me is opt.
But hey, she stays slim and has for the over 30 years I've
known her! Maybe I should follow her plan =)

Keith is doing wonderful. Everyone comments on how well he looks. I hope some of you come and see him when I'm gone. I will leave some food so he shouldn't starve, but he won't be able to go get any since he insisted I take the car. Anyway, some company might be nice for him. I'm sure he will make you play Farkle or Backgammon if you come. But you'll get a great cup of coffee.

I'm pondering this week as we struggle with the world's view of this Sunday as a holiday instead of it being a "Holy" day.

Blessings to all of you and more when I get back. Have a wonderful Easter!

Getting Harder

It's getting emotionally harder =( but how can I complain with a man like Keith. It's not his fault, it just is..............

Visitors

Clyde came to visit his old coach. I know you are reading this Clyde, because you told me you read the blog. It was great to hear about you, Stephanie, and the wonderful direction your life is taking. Come again. Thanks to you and everyone who have supported the blog.

Michelle came by and played backgammon and ace deuce with Keith. She is very competitive, but Keith told me he won 3 out of 4 games. You will have to come back. Oh darn. We will look forward to another round! I told you he likes to win. =) He's a competitor. A good thing because he is in the biggest competition of his life now. Stay strong Keith. We love you.

Meanwhile, I went for a long walk while they played games. The weather was so wonderful and warm I just soaked it in. Thanks Michelle. Even Pepper loves you.

As for those who can, come by for a visit. You are welcome in our home anytime =)

I'm Here

I'm here. Just pondering. I guess the visit with my friend who's husband took his life using the Death with Dignity law got to me more than I thought. It was eerie sitting there eating lunch without him. Yet it was so peaceful at the same time. I don't know how to explain it. She is one of the nicest people I know. She is exhausted emotionally and physically. Still, she is holding the family together in a way as to honor their dad and her husband. Mounds of paperwork she told me and the ache she feels when she turns to her husband to share the latest about the kids, or other such happening, is terrible. She runs. It is something they did together throughout their lives until MSA stopped that.

What am I wanting? It seems rather selfish. I should stop right now.

Better week than Charlie Sheen

Just thought I'd let you know that our week has been great. No drama and that's a lot better than what Charlie Sheen can say right?. I truly hope that this will be a wake up call for him to find what is really missing in his life. It shows that even with abundant wealth, life can be far from perfect.

Ed, thanks for coming over and playing Farkle with Keith. He enjoyed it very much. Good company and good coffee. I was able to go do whatever I wanted,(Not that I can't anyway. When you marry such a nice guy as Keith, that's what you get to do!) In fact, he tells me to go to Palm Springs and he will be fine alone for a week. Hey, maybe I should be wondering about that? =)

Everyone must be praying for him. Several of you have said that he looks so good and healthy. I agree.

He finished coaching his last Alternative Basketball Team and said he will miss it even though it was hard.

Time for Spring Sports. Have a great week everyone.

A Big Thank You

Keith and I want to thank everyone who came to his retirement party. The room was filled with about 150 well wishers. It was hard to keep emotions in check, when such nice things were said. Especially touching were the words from his students. I don't know that I would have been able to go at that age and speak words publicly about one of my teachers. But they did and it was moving.

We look forward to this week anticipating visits from several church members who talked to me today. Now that there's no snow (hopefully), we're going to hold you to it. The coffee is waiting. =)

Take care and have a great week. Later I will tell you about the letter we received from our friend's father detailing his son"s path to death filled with both love and sorrow. Difficult to read, but again, grateful that they consider us as friends.

All for now.

A Wonderful Place to Live

Granite Falls, WA, what a great city to live in. There are not many towns where you could drive down the street and see a sign inviting everyone to your husband's retirement party. And on both sides of the reader board yet! The party is Tues. 3:30 - 6:30. Stop by if you can.

Seriously, last week was a distracted week because I knew of our friends upcoming death, but at the same time Keith and I had been so blessed. His mom is here for a visit. I wish we could have her longer. She is what you call," a low maintenance guest." She never complains. She holds the baby and gets her to burp =). She puts the dog in and out. She takes walks with us. She took us out to eat. She plays games with the whole family. She's also willing to play the game farkel with Keith over and over. It gives me a break. Can we keep her?

By the way, I challenge anyone to come and play Backgammon with Keith. He beats me almost every time!

Several of you have asked what you can do to help and we so appreciate that. Sharing a cup of coffee with him is short as not to overtire him and he enjoys it. Ernie, Tony, Andy, Zac, Sandy and Stoney, Damian, Kim, Jessica, Anna and Vanessa,Patti and Dave, and Richard are some of those who have come over. I know I've missed others. Oh yeah, Jim Romack has tea when he comes over because he doesn't drink coffee. Can we really trust a pastor from the Northwest who doesn't drink coffee? Or come and watch sports with Keith for about an hour. You don't have to do anything but be there. It is so good for him to shout at the TV, Yes, Keith can get pretty excited watching some games. Right Tony?

I want to thank Kim and Frank for putting in a beautiful bamboo floor for us in our office. Everyday I see it, I'm reminded of the love of all of you.

Well I just wanted to let all of you know that we are doing great, just wishing we could keep great-grandma here for longer. We are looking forward to Keith's retirement party. He thought he could sort of fade out of the picture when he retired. Guess not, Keith. You have too many people who love you, especially, me, =)

Gone

Our friend has died. I hate it, just hate it. And I couldn't do anything to stop it, nor did they want me to stop it. This amazing teacher, father and husband will be missed by so many. Facebook messages confirming how much he is missed are being added continually.

Keith and I are invited to his celebration of life, Tues, but I think it would be too difficult, not only for us but for his family and friends. Perhaps because seeing another man the same age with MSA that day would be a sad reminder. Yet we would love to support the family. We have, however, been spared from making a decision one way or another as we found out that Keith's school is giving him a retirement party on that day. It will be surreal. While one family celebrates and honors a wonderful man whose life has passed, ours, celebrates another wonderful man with a tribute to a life that has and continues to touch so many in a positive way. I for one, want Keith around for a long time. I have not finished learning from him.

Tough Decisions

I know our decisions are not so tough compared to my friend and his wife. We are praying for them daily.

Like I said, this unexpected retirement has left us asking strange questions of ourselves. It seems smart to sell this house and move to one smaller but right now if Keith has less than 5 years or even 10, I want to be together in this home where so much of our memories are. Yes, this house could be a lot to handle and I will address that at some time. So many of you have said you would help that it has given me hope in keeping it for now. Keith wants the best for me, so I will entertain the idea of downsizing because he is the one who had the idea and wants to at least have it as an option.

On a happier note, Tony and Matt came over and put up a TV in the exercise room. It is coming together quite nicely. We are calling it the "Tiger Den" I have put up pictures of his teams and others he cares about. Thanks guys. Keith's mom just touched down at SeaTac and we will get to see her tomorrow. We can't wait, especially for her to see how the great-grandkids have grown. Also to introduce her to the youngest, Kayleigh =)

My heart is heavy at times, but I have a wonderful husband, family and friends and I take great peace in this fact. Most important, however, is we have a heavenly father who loves Keith and knows all our needs!

Off to the library. Any good book suggestions?

Just want to say

We are having a very good time lately. We even made it to the basketball game and were greeted warmly by so many friends. Everyone who sees Keith, says he looks good and we are so thankful for your thoughts and prayers. We have been enjoying our time together; now finding ourselves in a healthy routine.

Many friends have stopped by and that is good for Keith. I want to thank Tony for helping us with our exercise room and for volunteering to help us anytime even to the point of asking us to have a list for him. Ernie came by and it's always good for Keith to "talk shop" with him. Linda stopped by with some yummy goodies.

All in all, a very nice weekend. Some serious stuff begins this week. I'll let you know how things go later. But for now, we are happy and are looking forward to Keith's mom's visit this Sunday. =)

Numb

I am numb. Just numb. I just finished reading the date that our friend has chosen to die. I'm not going to say the date out of respect for their privacy but it is so close.

A Better Saturday

Keith and I are having a great week. We are laughing at the fact that we can't find time to read. What are we doing? We don't know but it seems to take all day, each day. I guess we just get to enjoy each other and the time together. We had a birthday party for Diala Thursday evening. Can't believe she is 5 already.

Just wanted everyone to know that we are ok.

We decided not to go to Disneyland. After going to Alderwood Mall and one of its busiest restaurants, we realized that maneuvering through a lot of people is certainly not easy for Keith and makes me worried. We may be looking at going to Great Wolf Lodge instead. We will see.

All for now.

Death With Dignity

Keith and I now know more that we ever wanted to know about Death With Dignity. I had definite strong opinions about it and judged those who thought different until today. Did you know that Keith's disease, MSA, is allowed on the list of options for Assisted Suicide? We didn't nor did we care. Yesterday, however we were put in its path by our friend who also has MSA and his wife as we were getting together over a cup of coffee. It is not everyday that you are privileged or trusted enough to hear the wishes of person wanting to die. He is in much worse condition than when we saw him last. Then, he was using a walker, still smiling and able to carry on good conversation. Now, he is a man, depressed in a wheelchair with a swelling body that no longer works for him. He has lost hope and has obtain a doctor's prescription to end his life.

I won't go into details as his wife did while took a short walk, leaving the guys alone to talk. (somewhat scary and overwhelming). I was so thankful for Keith. He was bonding with him and they were laughing. I wanted desperately to talk with her alone and find out how things were going from her perspective. She and I share a situation that very few do. That is, both of us having husbands with MSA, a very rare disease. She needed to talk. She has to do everything now, making difficult decisions alone about their two high school aged kids. She is overwhelmed and at the same time dealing with a husband that wants to die now.

Believing that Keith would never take God's role and do that as a Christian I felt better. So I asked him or sort of told him and then asked him about Death With Dignity and I was surprise. He said he'd think about it. Later, he said that didn't mean he would consider it. I knew what he meant after seeing our friend. We now ask for prayers for both of these wonderful people.

Enough for today.

Doing very well

Just thought I'd let you know that Keith and I are doing well. We are giving ourselves permission to watch TV and movies during the day. Our philosophy regarding daytime tv viewing has changed from when the kids were young. Then, we refused to have a tv in the living room and generally did not watch it during the day. Well truthfully, Mom might have watched some while they were taking a nap or in school. =) . My mom was pretty wise. When my dad had a stroke and she took care of him at home for 6 years, she knew the value (yes, value)of the tv was to my dad. He loved watching musicals, funny shows and of course, Lawrence Welk. I must say my dad never was one to get angry or mope around. He wasn't depressed. We all just sat and watched a musical with him. He loved it. Most of us did also, except after watching The Sound of Music for the 25th time, I was glad when some of the grandkids could take my place. =)

We are heading out to Costco to stock up in case of snow. Keith will get a Mocha, his treat from Costco. (I know you all have your favorite too. What's wrong with a slice a pizza right? After all it's soooooooooooooooo cheap.) After reading about couples having to spend between $10 to $20 dollars an hour for a babysitter, I can see why a Costco date could be a great debt fighting tool for them. It's all they can afford!

Off we go

Possible Changes

January days have us praying and pondering where we can best serve others.It's tough for Keith not to be working. He may be able to volunteer more. I'll keep you posted. Like I told the Social Security counselor, we would pay to have Keith be able to work. =)

I know a lot of you, myself, and and several of my family members have encouraged Keith to spend quality time with family. He has done so and has enjoyed it. Not working, however has been more difficult than we expected. We have been forced to constantly adjust our reality. While his body is not able to perform like it used to, he has worked furiously hard to keep its atrophy at bay by exercising. Often more than me. In fact, he had another super appointment with his neurologist. He sees no reason that Keith can't travel so I'm not giving up the dream of taking the family to Disneyland, late June. We'll see. His Dr. however, doesn't see Keith's daily difficulties. If we have to go to "Plan B" that's ok.

We thank you for the prayers and still need them. This disease if not so good. I want people to know about it but I'm not ready to lead that campaign yet!

Until later,