Holiday Grief Letter

Hello everyone,

To me, it feels like Keith died yesterday. But to most of you, daily lives continue  normally as they should. So now we are in the Holiday Season and it is very difficult as you might imagine to face them without Keith. It doesn't help that our anniversary is Dec. 16th.

While I cannot make myself attend an ongoing  support group I did go to a 2hr session on "Surviving the Holidays." I learned a lot of ways to cope and maybe enjoy this time of year.  Everyone's grief journey is different and that is ok.

I was encouraged to write a grief letter to let you know how I feel. I have been told that people don't know what to do or say.  I understand.  I decided to blog it instead. I hope you don't mind. I am copying most of the letter from the booklet, Surviving the Holidays because I can't seem to put my own words down. This letter speaks exactly what I want to say.

Dear Family and friends,

Recently I have suffered a devastating loss. I am grieving and it will take months and even years to recover from this loss.

I wanted to let you know that I will cry from time to time. I don't apologize for my tears since they are not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. They are God's gift to me to express the extent of my loss and they are also a sign that I am recovering.

At times you may see me angry for no apparent reason. Sometimes I am not sure why. All I know is that my emotions are intense because of my grief. If I don't always make sense to you, please be forgiving and patient with me. And if I repeat myself again and again accept this as normal.

More than anything else I need your understanding and your presence. You don't always have to know what to say or even say anything if you don't know how to respond. Your presence and a touch or hug lets me know you care. Please don't wait for me to call you since sometimes I am too tired or tearful to do so.

If I tend to withdraw from you, please don't let me do that. I need you to reach out to me for several months.

Pray for me. It does help for me to know you are.

Don't be afraid to talk about Keith to me and please share your pain with me. It won't cause me anymore pain and maybe I can help and pray for you. If I cry, it's ok.

This loss is so painful and right now it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But I will survive and eventually recover. I know I will not always feel as I do now. Laughter and joy will emerge once again someday.

Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for listening and praying. Your concern comforts me and is a gift for which I will always be thankful,

Love and blessings,

Pam, without Keith