You know it sounds a lot easier to do than it is. That is, taking it "one day at a time." I know you and I believe it especially in Keith and our family's situation but we all think ahead. It's necessary to do so. Have you as a mother ever just took Christmas one day at a time or how about your child's birthday. No planning ahead there right?
I'm trying not to think ahead but I'm looking at that list of 87 Things That Must Be Done By The Survivor. Why would that stupid MSA website print such a list? It's awful and yet because they are very loving people, I know I should and need to look at it. I've had it since the Fall and I just can't even start it. It feels like I'm dwelling on death. So I'm going to put it away because this is suppose to be the "No MSA" month. It seems to be easier for Keith (though not much is easy for Keith, he's just a fighter, why do you think I'm so blessed and thankful to have him in my life?)So many others would probably be demanding 24 hr care at this point of the disease. Sorry to be such a downer. I just felt like I'm busting inside with feelings that I don't always know not what to do with. So I'm taking advantage of you lending an ear. Thanks you all.
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Probably yes. Do I need exercise? Definitely. Do I need to go to the Lord and let him know all of this? Yes, and I'm just about to get my cup of coffee and do that. Keith took a walk and is doing so very well. I guess it's a reminder for me to be responsible and take care of myself. The reason for it I want to be selfish, like I can run in a race again or jump rope again or hike again, which I will do, but the reality is I need to be strong for what is coming up in our future. And this brings me back to the difficulty in not thinking ahead. For now, I'll take it a few minutes at a time and enjoy the Lord's company and my coffee.
See you. Come back, I'm sure the next post will be on the lighter side. =)
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